Suicide Hotline

    Can't way for the day that I grow older and I get my own house and sit in the couch in front of the TV playing some stupid show.  I would hold my phone with one hand, and with the other a cup of cheap red wine. The TV would go to commercials and my mind would go blank. There are so many reasons why I shouldn't even be here anymore. 

    I would have no friends as most of my friends are with me for pity. No family that looks out for me as they all hate me for past mistakes. I been missing for a year and no body is looking. Last hours wasted on getting drunk and watching stupid TV realities. 

    I would look at the ceiling at reflect on all my past choices. All the people I decided to cut out. All the therapy sessions that I disregarded. All the time wasted in a job I don't even like. All my life now seems useless considering how its all going to end. Wasting so much on a wasted life. Wondering if anything was ever worth it.

    Perhaps in another life I had a better ending. Maybe I was kidnap and torture to dead because of my ideals. Perhaps I died in the war I started. Maybe I died in a car crush after a man decided to drive while intoxicated. Any dead that actually means something. Any form of dying that would at least be published in the news. Instead, I'm gonna put a fucking slug in my head. 

    I take a quick look at the gun sitting by the TV stand. Finally making the decision to call the forbidden number.

-"Suicide Hotline, may I help you?"

-John Lemon